The Online Shitizen – A Community of Turds

We are srs bisness. Rly.

Motherson Fun: “Unwrapping my blah blah blah”

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Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah

Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah

Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah Blah blah blah

The current global financial crisis requires a co-ordinated effort by all central banks.

omg I’m so smart. cannot stand it.

Written by Solid Snake

October 31, 2008 at 6:38 am

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Blandrew Leow: “That’s Master of the Universe to you mofo”

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I have decided that I shall give titles to all the members of The Online Shitizen. It is only right and good that we all sound grand!

Blandrew Leow – Master of the Universe

Remy LeChoo – Chief Mr Invisible

Meryl Hiam – Senior Grand High Inquisitor

Long Shit Sian – Biggest Penis in the Universe

Motherson Fun – Hottest Gasbag in the Universe

Written by Blandrew Low

October 29, 2008 at 11:30 pm

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Long Shit Sian: “I like children”

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Now I’m pleased to add to my LONG list of accolades, Long Shit Sian, master child psychologist. Oh and my penis grew 1 inch more, so it is now officially 13 inches long.

Take that suckazzzzzz!

Written by Long Shit Sian

October 20, 2008 at 11:58 am

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Will Singaporeans “feel Blandrew’s balls” in retirement?

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Unlike our fafillion bazillion dollar ministars like Lim Sway Sway, who managed to feel the richness of Blandrew’s blessed gonads, it pains me to know that a majority of average Singaporeans will never get get to sample it’s heavenly plushness.

There is nothing in this world that is as soft and juicy as Blandrew’s balls (trust me, I know because of personal experience, AND ALSO BECAUSE MY PENIS IS 12 INCHES LONG!!@!@), and it is the constitutional right of all Singaporeans to experience this velvety cushion in their golden years.

I am outraged that the garhmen has constantly changed the rules to increase the minimum lump required to be deposited in our LPF (Lum Par Fund), which has resulted in more and more of Blandrew’s scrotum being held by the garhmen. No wonder Ministar Sway Sway can so comfortably talk about feeling Blandrew’s balls!

Even worse, by raising the retirement age, the garhmen is pushing back the age at which our senior citizens can even smell the aroma of Blandrew’s chocolate salty balls. Most Singaporeans would be too old or sick or even dead by the time the those balls are within reach!

We see more and more Singaporeans having to sell their homes just for a chance at Blandrew’s balls, and eventually have to face a painful choice: Blandrew’s balls, or my HDB flat?

So, how many Singaporeans will, as the minister without portfolio does, feel Blandrew’s balls when they are in their old age?

Written by Long Shit Sian

October 13, 2008 at 6:28 am

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Fucker-har: “Milking it for all it is worth”

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I simply just can’t stop reminding people about a certain important man who passed away about 3 weeks ago, because in doing so, it would make me seem like I really care about his cause and I supported him all those times he was selling his books, and I was standing there with him helping him sell those books, and I gave him money when he needed it, and I was standing right there beside him when he lost everything.

Then now I can milk all the publicity for all its worth, which includes writing this absolutely pointless column, so that I can build up a political base and hope that people will like me and care about what I have to say so that in the future when I enter politics, I can get people to vote for me!

Brilliant plan accomplished! Whee!

Written by Blandrew Low

October 12, 2008 at 12:29 pm

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Long Shit Sian:”Financial crisis is PAP’s fault”

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Markets melting? Bank runs? Worthless shares? Foreclosures and repossessions destroying your homes? It’s all masterminded by MM Lee! You heard it here first!

Written by Long Shit Sian

October 10, 2008 at 5:12 am

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Blandrew Low:”Climate change is PAP’s fault”

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Polar ice caps melting? Droughts? Floods? Hurricanes and typhoons destroying your homes? It’s all masterminded by MM Lee! You heard it here first!

Written by Blandrew Low

October 10, 2008 at 5:10 am

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